Octarine Tinted Glasses

Why Do Men Keep Putting Me in the Girlfriend-Zone?

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:59:34 +0100

You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.

But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.

I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.

I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.

So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.

I’ve just finished parks and rec and I NEED A DECENT COMEDY STAT

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:25:30 +0100

I’ve just finished parks and rec and

I NEED A DECENT COMEDY STAT

End of show existentialism. I’ve only got 8 episodes of Parks and Rec left.

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:41:05 +0100

End of show existentialism.

I’ve only got 8 episodes of Parks and Rec left.

thefrogman: Reading Allie Brosh’s latest post about depression...

Wed, 22 May 2013 17:10:21 +0100

thefrogman:

Reading Allie Brosh’s latest post about depression was extremely difficult for me. While it was amazing and truthful and beautifully done, I found my mouse pointer hovering to close the tab. I read the whole thing, but there were many times I just wanted to click the button and go look at kittens on the internet.

Her recent experience with depression very closely mirrors how I was many years ago. Before this blog. Before I knew I had a way to reach people and entertain them. My emotions stopped working. I found it impossible to care about anything. Especially myself. I would interact with people who expected me to be “funny comedy guy!” and at that point in time I thought that part of me was dead. But I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. So I tried very hard to pretend to be “funny comedy guy!” which resulted in some of the most horrific attempts at humor ever known to this earth.

I put on the faces I thought people wanted to see.

But I’ve worked hard to get my emotional self back. My journey through depression is further along than Allie’s. But being reminded of that time brought me to tears several times. In the end, I’m glad I didn’t close the tab. Reading her story helped remind me how far I’ve come. It reminded me how glad I am that I stuck around.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh [website | facebook | store]

"Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with them..."

Wed, 22 May 2013 13:26:20 +0100

“Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with them and have a drink.”

- Lemony Snicket (via sydneythesignificant)

Wed, 22 May 2013 13:12:42 +0100

norafox: Cyanide and Happiness nails it.

Wed, 22 May 2013 02:30:50 +0100

norafox:

Cyanide and Happiness nails it.

"But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink,..."

Wed, 22 May 2013 01:15:45 +0100

“But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink, the very air I breathe, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the threatening metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o’clock in the morning.”

- Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (via larmoyante)

joobacca: i need a ron swanson in my life.

Tue, 21 May 2013 23:04:28 +0100

joobacca:

i need a ron swanson in my life.

Photo

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:44:18 +0100

gwenstefuckme: i am ron swanson

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:42:41 +0100

gwenstefuckme:

i am ron swanson

Photo

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:40:11 +0100

"the one thing i hate more than liars is skim milk.. which is water pretending to be milk"

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:38:44 +0100

“the one thing i hate more than liars is skim milk.. which is water pretending to be milk”

- Ron Swanson (via kristenkerch)

Photo

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:31:33 +0100

I think me getting a job in the next year will make the difference between me becoming Bernard Black...

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:29:44 +0100

I think me getting a job in the next year will make the difference between me becoming Bernard Black or Ron Swanson.

henryclervals: I feel like my life is just a slide towards becoming Bernard Black.

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:26:07 +0100

henryclervals:

I feel like my life is just a slide towards becoming Bernard Black.

Photo

Tue, 21 May 2013 18:08:41 +0100

lierdumoa: bluntedanimehunk: hunewm: bluntedanimehunk: internetlaureate: bluntedanimehunk: why...

Tue, 21 May 2013 18:08:28 +0100

lierdumoa:

bluntedanimehunk:

hunewm:

bluntedanimehunk:

internetlaureate:

bluntedanimehunk:

why do nice girls always go for the assholes i dont even like pegging

No. Just. NO. I am so sick of this bullshit stereotype being both perpetuated AND played out. No.

um

Saying nice girls go with the assholes is the biggest stereotype in relationships of all time

uM

I’M SORRY NO ONE GOT YOUR JOKE.

laudanum: (via Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two) Allie...

Tue, 21 May 2013 15:23:02 +0100

laudanum:

(via Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two)

Allie Brosh is my fucking HERO.

If you don’t understand depression and think it’s just a case of ‘getting happy’, sit down and get your education. She’s managed to put into pictures and words what it’s like to actually suffer depression.

If you come out the other side of that and you still don’t understand? Then you’re always going to be part of the problem.

onekinkyfucker: You know what really boils my blood about sexism-based kink shaming? (Y’know, other...

Tue, 21 May 2013 14:15:10 +0100

onekinkyfucker:

You know what really boils my blood about sexism-based kink shaming?

(Y’know, other than it being incredibly sexist)

The majority of the hate is coming from vanilla-peeps. This is not your conversation. The conversation of whether consensual (implicit or explicit), safe, controlled, private bdsm is damaging for society is for those people who are aroused by it.

Specifically, I think it should be a conversation that subs lead, considering the possibly dangerous situations they put themselves in.

And do you know what the outcome of that discussion would most likely be?
“I like it, I trust them, take your ignorance and fuck off”